My Testimony

I used to have a testimony all written out, right before my baptism in middle school, but sadly it went missing a few years back. Sheepishly, when people would ask me to casually share my testimony, I’d try to summarize what I had written, but it went quite badly, and the analogies got twisted sometimes. Finally, God set me down and just said, “It’s time to write a new one.” It’s in this form because I love the beauty and structure in writing poetry. Here it goes:

April’s Testimony

This tale is about a young girl you may know.
She wishes to God all the glory may go.
For all of the wonder that this may possess
All came from her Lord in who’s soul does now rest.

From birth she was selfish—told lie after lie
Said, “leave me alone” when was given some pie.
No people she loved for all people loved her,
Her smile and cute laugh were to benefit “her”.

Then through many years was she timid and scared
Alone and dejected, and “no one” who cared.
She sought to stay hidden and shroud all her sin
And this lifeless solitude she did begin.

She never confided in people–just pets

They’d never exlude her or point out regrets

They made her feel happy, but then they’d be done

Instead of be quiet the chores must be done.

Soon homeschooling ended and middle school came
To follow the crowd gave approval, not shame.
And then insecurity grew with her sin
While fear and rebellion became her close kin.

Till God had this wretch in a check-mate position.
No friends she could trust, and “no one”who would listen.
God took away blindness and gave her clear sight
To see her sad state in the dark, not the light.

And then didst He save her, that sinner depraved,
Did she deserve grace? Nay—how she behaved!
Rebellion and lying she only could do,
To Satan the father of lies she was true.

Now April possesses free-will to love God.
She gratefully sings, and scorns not His sweet rod.
Does God not remember her debt must paid be?
Oh yes, does he know this—she’s justified; free!

He sent His own Son to be born as a man
And her life took part in His glorious plan.
Christ died, for His people He yearned to make clean,
And conquered death’s grave, for quite risen is He!

 Now God’s glory shines with its most radiant ease
May sinners be brought from the sky to their knees.
Repent from their wickedness—not out of whim;
and look unto Christ that their gold may grow dim.

Down our journey guiding He gives His Word
Through which we may know our bold faith is assured.
We stand on His promise to wipe out our past;
Salvation our hope that forever will last.

 

No Fear!

I just had the urge to write this before going to bed…it took me less than 3 minutes! Now, I just need to find a tune for it.

 

What is this feeling that storms my heart?
What is this enemy that tears me apart?
When I’m on a mission, it corners me in.
Dousing me in heartaches, regrets, and sin.

It’s name is fear. That powerful wretch!
That makes me paralyzed and says, “You can’t catch!
Nothing you do will ever work out.
So just you sit comfortably, that’s what’s it’s about.”

God has called us to proclaim the Good News.
The battle is won, and we cannot lose.
His power has saved us through Christ on the cross,
And His power alone can conquer fear’s cost.

(Chorus)
Have no fear to proclaim Christ’s name
Have no fear—live in triumph not shame
No fear—be bold in His power!
Our God is our Might, our shield, our strong tower!

Have no fear when the rain pours down
when the thunder roars and the everything comes crashing down
The fire burns brightly with the sin and despair
But a vast ocean is coming to soothe and repair.

(Chorus)
Have no fear to proclaim Christ’s name
Have no fear—live in triumph not shame
No fear—be bold in His power!
God is our Might, our shield, our strong tower!

 

Mighty Savior

As an ethnomusicology major, I have been realizing more and more that I really should be writing more songs and lyrics for hymns and praise songs. This semester has been a blessing, for I have written several now. This one may still need a little updating. I’ve been trying to come up with a variety of tunes to set it to, and am still debating on whether it should have a Celtic style, or a Southern flavor.

There are people in this world, who are empty and lonely
They don’t remember their Maker.
There are people in this world, who are seeking and longing
wishing they might find a mighty Savior.

(Chorus)
Jesus said to come to me, all who are weary
I will give you rest and peace.
Jesus said I love you and have died for your soul
So you could now be…a child…of the king.

Well, you are not a part of this world of sin;
Turn to Him, and the world will grow dim.
He knows your struggles and every time you mourn.
And He’s the Lord…over all the storms.

You may grow weak, you may grow faint
You may say this is more than you can take
But in your failures and weakness, He is your strength.
And nothing’s too great for our Lord.

Jesus said come to me, all who are drifting
I will be your constant guide.
Live by faith, do not turn away.
With me in heaven you’ll be someday.

(repeat chorus)

Hallelu—jah. Halle hallelu!
Hallelu—jah. Halle hallulu!

 

My Present Personal Philosophy

I was assigned the task of writing my own personal philosophy for “Philosophy of Church Music” class last week. I believe everyone should write one, for unless we examine our philosophy of life, how will we truly grasp or “own” our mission in life? Just something I’ve been thinking about.

My personal philosophy comes attached with the idea that I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. (Gal. 2:20) What did Christ seek to do while He lived on earth? Yes, it was to save His people from their sin. Yes, it was also to live a perfect life to fulfill the law. But ultimately, it was to give God GLORY. This, as I see it, was Jesus’ “philosophy” on earth. What does the Westminster catechism say about the chief end of man? It says we are to glorify and to enjoy God forever. This is what Christ did, and is still doing through our witness. We were created for God’s glory, we find true fulfillment in giving God glory in this life, and when we are in eternal paradise we will loudly be offering up continuous voices of praise to the glory of God.
       What am I to do to apply this presently? I am to use the spiritual gifts with which He has blessed me: gifts such as music, teaching, encouragement, and faith. I believe faith should be the overarching part of this for all God’s people, for Hebrews 10:37-38 says, “Yet in a little while, and the coming one will come and will not delay; but my righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him.” Since I’ll never gain enough wisdom or knowledge to develop a perfect “philosophy of life,” I can have assurance by “living by faith,” and having such faith as a little child. Instead of being the annoying five-year-old kid who constantly pulls his mother’s skirt and constantly questions her authority by asking, “why?”, we should be like the little girl who when asked why she thinks her dad can fix her doll’s arm, replies confidently with a proud smile, “My daddy said so.”
       Throughout my life, I have struggled with being timid. I am a creative idealist who loves adventures and the smell of danger, yet when faced with anything slightly challenging or exposing to me freezes dead in my tracks. You could probably compare me perfectly to a rabbit. They can have great personalies and be adventuresome when feeling happy and right at home, but when any hint of danger approaches it prefers to freeze and blend in with the surroundings. The past few years God has been calling me to ministry, and while I yearn to go minister boldly to everyone I meet on the street, the actions rarely occur because of this daunting cloud of timidity I become enveloped in. This can apply to praying in a group, speaking outloud in class, giving a hurting person a hug, etc. I can relate to Elihu from Job 32:6 quite well when he said, “I was timid and afraid to declare my opinion to you.” My personal philosophy leans on 2 Timothy 1:7, which says, “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” All three of these attributes are things I have always struggled with, and I know full well I cannot accomplish anything on my own. I completely rely, therefore, on God and have faith in Him as a little child to help my timidity. It will be hard, but my life is crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. I pray His will may be done in and through my life. Amen.

 

A New Post!

Hello again! Some of you have been wondering what I’ve been up to lately. As a college student, I’ve mostly been studying and going to classes. My classes this semester are Philosophy, Studying and Teaching the Bible, Christianity in the Western Culture (we just got done studying Athanasius and St. Augustine :D), Philosophy of Church Music, Ensemble hymn improv, band, oratorio, and violin lessons. (phew!) Most of the music classes all fall on Monday afternoon and night; hence the name “Music Major Monday Madness.”

Because of not having internet in my room (though my rommate does), I have just been e-mailing things to myself, getting  on my roommate’s computer, and now putting things onto my blog that way. It’s a little complicated. I hope you enjoy what I’ve been composing lately! Some has been set to music, but nothing has been written down permanently…yet.

This is a poem that I started after band tour to California. We visited Yosemite, the most beautiful national park (in my opinion), and that prompted me to this composition. I have been writing it over the summer and even during this semester, so it has gotten quite long and extravagent. haha

Mountain most lush, so rich and so rare,
Even your rocks are exquisitely fair.
Sequoia trees, daisies, you’d probably agree,
that I must be dreaming—this is reality?

Low yet quite powerful roars catch my ear.
Picking up pace, though without any fear.
No thoughts of time, no meetings at ten,
My only thought, “Will this path never end?”

Higher and higher I climb and I scuffle
Rocks become massive, yet the roar is still muffled.
The ground gets quite damp, though the view remains hidden
Fallen am I face downward, oozing mud most unbidden.

Getting up frustrated at where mud has ill-placed me
Monolithic boulders circling all around me,
Nothing moving but crows to mock me—the mud would too
If it could speak. Oh what shall this poor person do?

Looking straight upward I spy something heavenly
in the midst of this muck and gargoylean misery
Beautiful red wood looking so noble; surely it was sent
to aid in this tragic predicament.

Tactfully a skip and then hurriedly a prayer;
Rope from my backpack soars high in the air.
It tangles itself on a branch not intended;
Nevertheless, my sad case is soon joyously mended.

I sport a long stick up this mucky ravine,
Hoping this worth the mud for faith that’s unseen.
Really I wish for a great creature of power–
Maybe a cyclops or sea beast that sends lions to cower!

Finally I rest on a ledge, small but sturdy.
Shoes, face, and fingers are disgustingly dirty.
The view makes my heart race and then skip a beat
Gallons of moist droplets race near my feet.

No, it’s not raining but even if it had been
No downpour compares to this fine big ben.
Waterfall keeps moving, yet it still stays the same
It likens to our Maker who possesses many a name.

 Blessings from our Creator pour out noon, night, and day
Nothing we give Him can help us repay.
We offer up our heart and our soul and our mind,
All of our being, and all of our time.

Waterfalls of grace continue to pour down
Over us who embrace His most glorious crown.
We are called to live by faith; for faith indeed
gains Christ’s pleasure, not any “good” deed.

May we with hearts that are pure and clean hands
Offer up praise to whom praise demands
Being made clean by the Man without sin
Forever together with our Savior we win.

 

They Didn’t Know what a Martyr was…

I peer eagerly at the sheet. “April Cervinka: Camp Counselor—Cabin 202.” Hurray! I only have to move next door this week! Walking casually into my new cabin with two-months worth of luggage, something dark grabs my attention. While everything else looks just like my old cabin: normal and lined with wood—the bunk beds, the dresser, the fan—my eyes are completely glued to an unusual poster of the world. To this day I find it interesting that someone would leave this poster behind, and that on the weekends when we cleaned the cabins no one had the heart to throw it away. As it has the date “2005″ on it, it may be that for four years it has been pinned up on the wall in cabin 202 by two thumb tacks. (This very poster would later become a most remarkable tool from God in cabin 202…but I’m getting ahead of myself.)

 

A few nights later, many eyes join mine in being glued to this same black poster; of course we have all seen a map of the world before, but this one visualizes a whole new world; and yet, this is our world.

 

For one thing, the colors are all wrong: green does not stand for land, brown does stand for desert, and there is no blue to mark the bodies of water. Instead, it depicts boldly in green, orange, and gray that in fifty-two countries Christian witness is under fire. With the “Voice of the Martyrs” emblem on the top right, it is definitely my kind of poster. The best part about it, though, is the explanation for each color. Here is what green says: “Restricted Nations—This includes situations where Christians are kept from obtaining Bibles or other Christian literature by government policy or practice. Also included are government-sanctioned ordinances where Christians are harassed, imprisoned, killed, or deprived of their possessions or liberties because of their faith in Jesus.” Here is orange: “Hostile area—this includes large areas in nations where governments consistently attempt to provide protection for the Christian population, but Christians are victims of violence because of their witness.” Gray stands for free countries, such as America.

 

For me, this poster was an awesome reminder to keep praying for these countries—this was, in fact, a prayer map. However, for the 25 plus girls whom I was blessed to counsel, all these facts were new. Many did not know what a “martyr” was.

 

After quickly and silently recovering from this sad state of affairs, I was overjoyed to explain to them about dying for your faith. At first, of course, they were shocked that anyone would want to lower themselves to be punished just because of something they believed. Then, after a few minutes of explaining time and God’s wisdom speaking through me, several of the girls decided that a martyr was indeed a genuine heroine. We all looked again at this poster of the world and smiled.

 

We as Christians are called to stand up for our faith. (Ephesians 6:12) America, is a special country currently, in which the Gospel is free to be shouted from our rooftops if so desired. This was quite a wakeup call for me to keep praying for our fellow believers who do not have our freedom and must completely depend on God’s strength and power to spread the Gospel while risking reputation, home, possessions, family, and their very lives. This is the world we live in. Let’s get out of our “American dream” world and look reality in the face. Satan would love for us to think that there really is no battle going on out there, but guess what. There is.

 

If you would like to know more about this real world but can’t go experience it for yourself, check out the Voice of the Martyr’s website. You can even ask them for a free newsletter. If you would like to get involved, prayer is powerful, and greatly appreciated by our heroes on the spiritual frontlines. (Ephesians 6:18-19) Even more, you can become a penpal to a Christian in jail for their faith. Check out www.persecution.com

 

Thank you for reading! And please, keep Moody students in your prayers as we go out to the mission field, and many will be persecuted. This is a verse I’ve been encouraged by many times this year: 2 Corinthians 4:1-9 “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not afflicted; struck down, but not destroyed.”

 

Where’s the Starting Line?

“Oh, no! It’s already 7:45! My alarm didn’t wake me! I’m going to be late for class! AHHH!”

Does this sound like a typical way to start your day? It was for me last semester. Whether it works for you to start your day in a whirlwind of commotion and hyperventilation is for you to decide, but it killed me–both physically, mentally, and spiritually. Without beginning my day with devotions, I was doomed for a day of chaos, confusion, and disappointment of not accomplishing all the goals I set out to do.

This semester, I started afresh by having devotions at breakfast. For some people this works, but it didn’t work for me as yummy yogurt, cereal, and hot tea distracted me from really coming into the presence of the Almighty (especially when I spilled the hot tea all over my homework.) I then switched to nighttime devotions, but by morning everything was forgotten or just lacking in the fervor than it had had at night.

Needless to say, I finally grabbed the time I knew made sense, though it would cost me a great deal of sleep. Morning at 7:00. If I accidently sleep in, I have a policy now, saying, “No homework gets done until devotions, and praise is sung.” It started out being pretty harsh, but unless I made this decision, I would get distracted and think that a certain little job “had to” get done first. By then, my mind was gone up and over the next hill. No devotion time.

It has been such a tremendous blessing to be able to meet with God first thing every day. Coming before Him, praying, learning, and praising all help me think about my goals for the day. Also, I feel more happy and content, without nearly as much stress and worries about tests and theory homework. We as Christians really do live, move, and breathe in Him! Without that connection, smash! A potentially wonderful day is ruined by our absense of getting our minds focused on Him who is more important than achieving an “A” in a class or getting together with friends.

“All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord remains forever.” (1 Peter 1:24)

How wonderful that God’s word remains forever, while all the things we worry about will not matter, and be gone! Also, this verse has given me great hope lately:

Romans 8:28-29 “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Not even a huge load of homework can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.  I hope that you all have a wonderful Lord’s day tomorrow, and I’m praying for you my readers! Thanks for reading.

~April

 

Take My Life and Let It Be

Life is complicated. We always try so hard to get everything done, yet there are always those days when we just don’t feel up to getting everything done, and instead try to procrastinate as many items as possible. Laundry, papers, working out, doing devotions, trying to find time to get together with other people, finding time to not get together with people…my goodness. Being an extrovert sadly doesn’t help get all the jobs done.

Examining my personal life pattern, I’ve had to constantly be reminded not to lose sight of the finish line. Each day seems like a week in our special Moody bubble, and there is so much to do every day that to waste even a single day would be horridly out of the question.  During chapel this past week, one of our professors spoke on 1 Peter, and it was deeply convicting. He is an outstanding speaker, and hopefully I will be able to take classes with him someday. He particularly addresssed Chapter 1, and called us to “be holy, as God is holy.” Sure, we read that and have sweet, wistful thoughts about being good and shunning evil. However, we don’t take it seriously; God can’t mean it, because only He is holy! We are so wrong. He does mean we should be holy like Him. Merely thinking about His holiness causes butterflies to flutter furiously within us, particularly with comparison to our sin and “fake holiness” so to speak. How then, can we take 1 Peter 1:15 seriously? Verse 13 and following gives some good context:

“Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct.”

Through God’s bountiful, loving, and merciful grace, we are being trained to become more and more like Him. It’s a great idea to smile and ponder about, but convicting, for it means we have to “do something!” We have to work hard towards it, and since eternity is utterly more important than this life, this should be our priority. Homework, daily duties, fellowship with friends and family are wonderful blessings from our Lord, but it is so easy to get caught up in the present day that we forget about what’s important. Eternity.

My friend recently e-mailed this wonderful hymn to me, and as I have sung it since early childhood, I never closely studied the words till now. It is thoroughly one of the best hymns to describe how living the Christian life should look like. The words are rich and satisfying, full of blessing and are quite  convicting. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do now. 

“Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.
 
Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.
 
Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.”

Have a blessed week, and I’d love to hear from you all!

~April

 

Ethnomusicology

You are probably wondering about the title. I myself pondered what it could mean as I filled out my application for Moody. My parents thought it meant you studied ethnic music and cultures. At a quick glance, that could be a very general way of putting it. It wasn’t until a month ago when I started realizing how much more there was to this incredible major!

First off, I found out that you get to study linguistics (which is the basics of language so you can learn any language from it.) Also, you are able to study culture. Throughout the years, I have found myself more and more fascinated by different cultures and languages. Without realizing it, I automatically think about culture everywhere I go.

One day I was so caught up in studying culture without realizing it, that when I went home for Thanksgiving, I found myself studying the culture of cows in a pasture while taking a three-hour-trip to my grandparents’ house. What was I doing! Jolting myself away from the concept, I blushed and tried to forget the thought. It was an interesting concept, however, and I’m pretty sure it’s true! You see, when cows graze together in a group, they all face the same direction. That way, no one feels threatened that another cow will come and eat his patch of grass. Hill after hill went by, and still, all the cows on the hill faced the same direction as the cows around them. I know you must think this silly, but it really is true!

So, what can you do with such a splendid major? Well, there are actually many things you can do with it. The most common application is to join Wycliffe and go overseas to tribal countries. You would then learn their language, study their culture, study their style of music/dancing/choreography, and then write hymns for them to praise God! When tribes hear the Gospel for the first time, they should also as Christians be able to worship God in their own style, not some other culture’s style.  (I had been to Mexico and had sung many songs that were merely translated American songs into Spanish. So sad!)

The best part about this major is that it is quite similar to my present major. All my classes this year are exactly what I should take for “ethnomusicology.”  Also, I will be required (yay!) to go overseas for my internship during the summer before my senior year. Please pray for me as I seriously consider making this transition from “Bachelor of Arts with Violin emphasis” to “Ethnomusicology with Violin emphasis” major.

Soli Deo Gloria,

~April

 

Moody Students

Hi! I am totally convinced that Sarah Grandinetti and I (and all the rest of the music majors on our floor) have the most fun at Moody. We’re always busy doing something fun in the afternoons and evenings. It’s usually never planned. Today, we joined some of our band family for a ping pong ”around the world” game, which ended up so intense and fast that we kept trying to get out the person who won the last game. It usually didn’t work. We tried hitting the ball off the walls onto the table, spiking it like volleyball, and using our paddle as a baseball bat. The people outside the game room watched with mouths gaping with awe. They were very jealous.

Then, to top it off, Sarah and I joined our friend Peter (who plays trumpet in band and goes to Covenant Presbyterian church) to sing “Carol of the Bells” in the Arch. Now, if you don’t know what the Arch is, I’ll try to explain. (It’s actually our mascot.) It is a hallway with beautiful arched ceilings made of stone….(aparently Pastor Tony has mopped it several times?).  Here’s the outside of it:

Pastor Tony and I at the Arch

The accoustics are so wonderful that the echo lasts for a whole second. It sounded beautiful! Sarah, Peter, and I agree that band members have the most fun at Moody. Tomorrow is our all-day, band fall social, and only the people in charge know where we’re going. To the rest of us, it’s a SECRET! :) All we know is that it will be 10 degrees cooler, and to dress warmly.

But, with all that, I cannot wait to come home to Kansas. Michigonians and Alaskans are hilarious, Californians are clever and outgoing, Iowians are great, Missourians are cool…..but I miss my Kansans! Hope to see you soon! Somehow, though, I must get my Old Testament homework done in two weeks. Please pray that God will give me strength and energy to read and write about all next 13 books of the Bible (including Psalms), and that I would gain something from it.

Soli Deo Gloria,

~April