My Present Personal Philosophy

I was assigned the task of writing my own personal philosophy for “Philosophy of Church Music” class last week. I believe everyone should write one, for unless we examine our philosophy of life, how will we truly grasp or “own” our mission in life? Just something I’ve been thinking about.

My personal philosophy comes attached with the idea that I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. (Gal. 2:20) What did Christ seek to do while He lived on earth? Yes, it was to save His people from their sin. Yes, it was also to live a perfect life to fulfill the law. But ultimately, it was to give God GLORY. This, as I see it, was Jesus’ “philosophy” on earth. What does the Westminster catechism say about the chief end of man? It says we are to glorify and to enjoy God forever. This is what Christ did, and is still doing through our witness. We were created for God’s glory, we find true fulfillment in giving God glory in this life, and when we are in eternal paradise we will loudly be offering up continuous voices of praise to the glory of God.
       What am I to do to apply this presently? I am to use the spiritual gifts with which He has blessed me: gifts such as music, teaching, encouragement, and faith. I believe faith should be the overarching part of this for all God’s people, for Hebrews 10:37-38 says, “Yet in a little while, and the coming one will come and will not delay; but my righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him.” Since I’ll never gain enough wisdom or knowledge to develop a perfect “philosophy of life,” I can have assurance by “living by faith,” and having such faith as a little child. Instead of being the annoying five-year-old kid who constantly pulls his mother’s skirt and constantly questions her authority by asking, “why?”, we should be like the little girl who when asked why she thinks her dad can fix her doll’s arm, replies confidently with a proud smile, “My daddy said so.”
       Throughout my life, I have struggled with being timid. I am a creative idealist who loves adventures and the smell of danger, yet when faced with anything slightly challenging or exposing to me freezes dead in my tracks. You could probably compare me perfectly to a rabbit. They can have great personalies and be adventuresome when feeling happy and right at home, but when any hint of danger approaches it prefers to freeze and blend in with the surroundings. The past few years God has been calling me to overseas missions, and while I yearn to go minister boldly to everyone I meet on the street, the actions rarely occur because of this daunting cloud of timidity I become enveloped in. This can apply to praying in a group, speaking outloud in class, giving a hurting person a hug, etc. I can relate to Elihu from Job 32:6 quite well when he said, “I was timid and afraid to declare my opinion to you.” My personal philosophy leans on 2 Timothy 1:7, which says, “for God gave us a sp
irit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” All three of these attributes are things I have always struggled with, and I know full well I cannot accomplish anything on my own. I completely rely, therefore, on God and have faith in Him as a little child to help my timidity. It will be hard, but my life is crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. I pray His will may be done in and through my life. Amen

 

Will the Real Lincoln Please Step Forward?

Hi from Peru (Illinois)! Well, my parents and I have had quite a vacation time. We left Thursday evening and stayed at my grandparents for two nights. Then, we drove through El Paso and Mexico! *  (It wasn’t really that exciting because we didn’t even see any Mexicans, but nevertheless we managed to do it!)

One of our stops was the famous Lincoln Museum. Everything in Springfield was Lincoln this, Lincoln that..even their Wal-Mart had pillars with Lincoln quotes all over it. At a Christian school I had taken American History, and so learned a little about the Civil War and Lincoln. What I learned was a little different from what the Museum taught, although some things were quite interesting.

What’s taught by government schools and the Museum:

• Lincoln wanted everyone to be equal and free
• Lincoln saved the black people by issuing the “Emancipation Proclamation”
• Nobody liked Lincoln during the Civil War, but when he died, everyone immedietly turned him into a legend.
• The Civil War was over slavery
• Half of Lincoln’s face smiled, the other half didn’t. :)
• Lincoln couldn’t/wouldn’t discipline his children.

What I learned:

• Lincoln didn’t want everyone free. He said different things to different audiences, as some politicians do to make everyone happy.  One of his shocking quotes is this:

“I will say then that I am not, nor ever have been in favor of bringing
about in anyway the social and political equality of the white and black
races – that I am not nor ever have been in favor of making voters or
jurors of negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry
with white people; and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical
difference between the white and black races which I believe will forever
forbid the two races living together on terms of social and political equality.
And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do remain together there
must be the position of superior and inferior, and I as much as any other
man am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the white race.
I say upon this occasion I do not perceive that because the white man is
to have the superior position the negro should be denied everything.”
Abraham Lincoln
Source: September 18, 1858 – Fourth Debate with Stephen A. Douglas
at Charleston, Illinois.

• Lincoln did not save anyone by issuing the Emancipation Proclamation. When he issued it, he had no control over the South since it had seceeded. He had control over the North, but they had no slaves. He had control over the Border States (which did have slaves), but he specifically said the Proclamation did not apply to them. The Museum did talk about this, but did they help support Lincoln’s reasons? No, they merely explained, “Whatever Lincoln did, somebody was not happy about it.” 
• Yes, I did learn that nobody liked Lincoln during the Civil War. I understand why he made some of the decisions that he did. He was so pressured from every side to let the South secede, but he felt it was his holy duty to save the Union at all costs. The United States would probably be different if he had listened to the voices of the people instead.
• Half of Lincoln’s face smiled, half didn’t. Yes! See for yourself–

   

Divide his face in half. It’s really quite fascinating. The movie at the museum said that a house divided against itself cannot stand. Perhaps a face can. :)

• It said in one his friend’s letters that Lincoln’s children would come into his office, grab inkwells, papers, documents, and whatever else they could find; pile it up on the floor and dance on the pile. (I’m sure the ink had fun getting everywhere). Lincoln just sat on the couch reading, totally oblivious to his children’s faults. This happened more than once. I thought this was really shocking, especially back in that time period when parents were supposedly more strict. If Lincoln couldn’t keep his own children under control, how could he run an entire nation??? It is extremely puzzling.

So, hopefully you found that interesting and perhaps learned something new. :) I went to the Museum fully expecting to not like him because of what I had been taught, but he really is interesting. One thing I really cringe at, however, is what the people put on the wall in Lincoln’s burial room. Among other things, it was written in bold white: “Lincoln Our Savior.” Disgusting! :P

          Blessings,

               ~April

 

A What Class??

 I had one of the most interesting experiences last fall, namely, a “master class.” My violin teacher told me the class would really improve my skills, that it would help me have a broader viewpoint about the interpretation of songs, etc., etc. My response to her wonderful idea: “ Yikes! I don’t think I’m good enough.” I was scared stiff! This is what I had heard about master classes:

 

1. The teacher, or “master” is usually a world renown virtuoso.

2. You are expected to play your best song, and then let the “master” critique it.

3. While you play and are being critiqued, there is an audience of violinists watching and listening to everything.

4. Even worse, your class is being video-taped.

5. The master plays a portion of your song the way she thinks it should be played, and expects you to copy her playing perfectly.

 

To sum it up, I did NOT want to do this. I was sure that only the most advanced students were good enough to play before this outstanding, superstar violinist and survive the severe “criticism” about every note. However, my teacher insisted. My mom insisted. I finally decided that it wouldn’t kill me, so I’d go through with it. Maybe the benefits my teacher was talking about really were worth it. (And, it looks good on your resume! ;) And, I knew God would help me do my very best. Whatever happened would be according to His perfect, sovereign plan.

 

I arrived at the recital hall, where I would be playing in an hour. I dressed semi-formal, and tried to look as if I knew what I was doing. The guide showed me to a powder room behind the stage where I could practice, and nervously, I got out my violin. I could hear another violinist in a nearby room. “Wow, he sounds great!” I thought. He was playing two notes at a time, fast and furiously as if it was nothing. My piece, “Vivaldi’s Spring Concerto” never played two notes at a time. It was a pretty piece with trills, written to sound like little birds, other times to sound like a gurgling river, other times like lightening, other times like thunder. I loved my piece with all its different personalities, but still I was nervous. The guy next to me was playing a piece that was many times harder. Swallowing hard, I decided at that point to play for the Lord, not for the master. It certainly wasn’t a competition, but still I was nervous.

 

As I took my place in the recital hall, I looked at the other violinists. There were three Oriental girls, and my program informed me of the various famous people they had studied under. Then, there was a college student, the one I heard practicing in the other room. “At least he’s older.” I thought. Maybe when I’m his age, I’ll be able to play his song.” Finally, there was a little twelve-year-old girl. She looked just as nervous as I was. I smiled at her, and really prayed that she would do well.

 

I won’t describe every detail of the master class. I must confess, it being last fall, that I don’t really remember all the details. I do remember that I wasn’t first in the program, the college student was. Then, it was my turn. I took a deep breath, smiled, played Vivaldi’s Spring Concerto (not perfectly, but decently), and then waited as “Master” Jennifer Koh gathered the notes together she had been vigorously writing while I played.

 

Here is a link to Jennifer Koh’s website: http://jenniferkoh.com

She is…”a risk-taking, high-octane player of the kind who grabs the listener by the ears and refuses to let go.” –The Strad

I learned that there was a rule on how to criticize the player. You say, “good job” and then talk about “interpretation” of the piece. She didn’t point out every note I played slightly out-of-tune, she instead discussed the dynamics (loud, soft) and how to use the bow ( vigorous, excited, smooth like butter, clean, hacking, faster bow, etc.) One funny thing she talked about was making up a story to go with my song. I don’t really remember it, but it started out with one bird singing about the coming of spring, then it fades away and another bird picks it up, then the first bird, then another bird, etc. When it came to the thunder, she made me dig into the strings with my bow so hard and vigorous, I thought I would break something!

 

I was very happy to have gone, though, for everyone had learned a lot, even the overwhelmingly amazing Oriental girls. It was hard, and for 20 minutes we had to concentrate really hard and pay extremely close attention to the master who talks fast and then expects you to play again and again until she is satisfied.

 

If any of you ever get a chance to go to a master class, please don’t chicken out! Even if you just come to watch (which many do), you will still learn so much! It is almost like taking a year’s worth of lessons from your regular teacher in 20 minutes! (Which means, that having a friend or relative write down notes for you is extremely invaluable).

 

Hopefully this gave you a glimpse into the world in which violinists live. Thanks for reading!

God bless,

      April

 

Adoption is an Option

 “I was about 14 when I found I was pregnant. The scariest part was telling my mom. I was growing up in one of those families that if you ever get pregnant, you pack your bags and go. I knew I was pregnant because I hadn’t had a period. I waited until 3 a.m. I packed my clothes, cleaned out my dresser drawers, and put my bags by the front door. I woke my mom and said, ‘I’m pregnant.’

She was sleeping, and she sat up and said ‘What?’ And I jumped off the bed.

What are you going to do?’ she asked.

I started crying and said, ‘I don’t know.’

I told her I thought my only option was abortion. I made an appointment and she was to go with me, but that morning she told me she really didn’t want me to do that. She said there were other options.” –Tatum (Lindsay)

Indeed, there are “other options.” Let us consider the options: keeping the baby or putting it up for adoption. Adoption, seemingly, is not a common choice; however, it is more common than keeping the baby. As a whole, adoption is the wisest choice when it comes to teen pregnancies because it ensures a good family, love, flexibility, and a guilt-free mother.

According to Jeanne Warren Lindsay, author and a coordinator of the Teen Parent Program at Tracy High School in Los Cerritos, California, “A couple of generations ago, many pregnant teens relinquished (gave up, released, surrendered) their babies for adoption. An unmarried adolescent who became pregnant was often hustled off to Aunt Agatha’s home in Missouri where she lived until her baby was born. Usually the young mother didn’t see her baby at all. It was placed for adoption with a family she would never meet, and the entire event was wrapped in secrecy. Her friends were told she was vacationing with Aunt Agatha, and she was urged to forget the whole episode and return to “normal” life as a teen.” (Lindsay) Today, however, the picture is far different. The number of mothers who put their baby up for adoption is, “less than four percent of the half-million who give birth each year in the United States.”(Lindsay) Why is this the case? To be frank, it is because the average teenager is not developed enough to look ahead eighteen years to decide what is best. According to the the National Review, “Teenagers generally ask not what they can do for others, but what others are thinking about them. Is it any surprise that adoption is generally ignored?” (Olavsky) They can only see their present situation, and in their torn, messed up state they look to the easiest, fastest way out.

A very clever saying declares, “Only half of all people that go into abortion clinics come out alive.” Even Ronald Reagan had something to say about it when he declared, “Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born.” Abortion took the lives of about 1.5 million babies in 2005, according to National Right to Life News. (“Fruits of Pro-Life Work”) Although it is the easiest, fastest way out, abortion is not without many longterm consequences; many of which are quite devastating to the mother. Monnica Terwilliger who has worked for many years at a counseling center for those recovering from abortion, relates,“Common post-abortion symptoms include depression, nightmares, guilt, regret, avoidance of babies, and even self-destructive behaviors. The difficulties usually get worse over time and not better. Some women are physically damaged from the abortion, and a few are even left permanently infertile. If this is your first pregnancy, aborting can double your risk of developing breast cancer; multiple abortions can increase your risk of breast cancer three-fold.” (Terwilliger) She also remembers many girls who nearly bled to death after what should have been a simple, risk-free operation. Also, consider a 1986 study done by researchers at the University of Minnesota. They concluded, “A teenage girl is 10 times more likely to attempt suicide if she has had an abortion in the last six months than is a comparable teenage girl who has not had an abortion.” (Garfinkel) This is a serious conclusion, and is definitely not something to ignore.

Well, what about keeping the baby? Babies are so cute! That is certainly an option—but only for those who can offer the baby everything it needs, such as time, attention, food, and a family to raise it properly. Think realistically. What if the mother took care of the baby herself only until the ideal time to marry the boyfriend? That is possible, but extremely volatile. Especially in this day and age, “marriage is quietly losing its place in the language and in popular culture. Unmarried people now tend to speak inclusively about ‘relationships’ and ‘intimate partners.’ In the entertainment industry—including films, television, and music—marriage is often neglected or discredited.” (Popenoe 273) Even engaged young couples may break up after they find out the presence of a baby. I remember one of my friends Jane (name changed) who got engaged in eleventh grade, but during the summer they had sex. When she found out she was pregnant, she was thoroughly disgusted with her fiancé, and promptly dumped him. I think marriage would be an acceptable choice, but only if both members of the couple approve of it, and that is mainly the big problem—many couples are not willing to take marriage seriously. Stephanie Coontz, a History and Family Studies teacher at Evergreen State College in Olympia, relates: “The purpose of marriage was to get people to discharge the duties of civil society, to govern their families with prudence and to educate their children with discretion.” (Coontz 261) If the couple is not willing to make this commitment, then would it not be infinitely better to let another couple who are eager and willing to make the commitment adopt the child?

Adoption is a wonderful choice. From the four principles in the National Consortium model, “Adoption is mutually beneficial to parent, child, and society.” (Atkinson 87) The arrangement is extremely well thought-out and organized. For one thing, the family is always thoroughly interviewed by the adoption agency to make sure they know how and are fully able to raise a family. The family must also pay a serious amount of money, which gives a good indication that they have thought through the procedure. The Family Law Quarterly states, “More than 120,000 children are adopted annually in the United States.” (Family Law Quarterly 365) Adoption is, in other words, a popular choice that many couples have made. Even though it takes a huge amount of effort to adopt, many good families are more than willing to do whatever they can for the children. The lives of theses adopted children are precious, and therefore the adoption agency checks up on each family after the adoption every year for the first five years to make sure the child is healthy, happy, and bonding well.

Tatum, the young pregnant teenager in the previous story relates her experience of when she went to a maternity home, “They had this program where you could meet people who had adopted. They brought their children to a picnic, and I said I’d babysit. There was a little girl who was three, another seven or eight, and another who was ten, and all three were adopted. They knew much more about adoption than I did. The youngest little girl asked me, ‘Are you going to have your baby adopted?’ I answered, ‘What do you know about adoption?’ She said, ‘I’m adopted and I have two sets of parents. My mommy says I’m more loved because I have four parents.’ Then she said, ‘Your baby would be so loved’–this from a three-year-old! I also got to meet my counselor’s two adopted children, a daughter two years older than me, and a son four years older. I told her they were so like her and she said, ‘You know they are adopted?’ And I was thunderstruck because they seemed so happy. I started thinking more and more about adoption.” (Lindsay)

Before the pregnant mother decides anything, she must think carefully. The long-run consequences matter just as much as the present condition. What about when the baby is a teenager his or herself? What would be best for him or her? Does the mother have exactly the right conditions for raising a child, or should she let someone else take over who has dreamed of having a baby for years and years? According to the Child & Adolescents Social Work Journal, “The majority of adopted children function quite well as adolescents.” (Benson) The joy of having a child is utterly heavenly. Picture his or her smiling face, his or her laugh, him or her holding mother’s hand and exclaiming, “Mommy, I love you!” Imagine the child becoming a very important person when they grow up; someone to be encouraged and be proud of. Adoption does not have to mean the mother will never see her child ever again. On the contrary, there are many options now to fit almost everyone with their specific situation. For instance, open adoption is “an arrangement by which children legally go to live with people who are not their natural parents, but still continue to communicate with their natural parents.” (“Open Adoption”) It is quite interesting how widely things have changed from when everything was kept top-secret about adoption. The remarkable effort and work put into the arrangement is amazing; much of the work is done by underpaid people who care tremendously about the children and their families.

Adoption is most assuredly the best choice for most pregnant teens. However, the adoption route is not a common decision because many teens are not developed enough to be able to look into the future to decide what is best. All they can think of is, “How do I get out of this horrible mess I’m in as quick and as easy as possible?” Adoption is certainly life changing; few things could be more so. It can be a huge blessing, something wonderful coming from what seems evil and alarming. This procedure is comparable to the children’s story, “The Ugly Duckling.” Despite what started out to be a dreadful looking creature despised by everybody, the “duckling” later turned out to be a beautiful swan that was greatly admired by all. Abortion, though it is extremely common, should be avoided at all costs for the sake of the baby and of the mother. Take time to decide on the right choice, not the quick and easy choice. Consider adoption.

 

 

Hit It!

 

With gallons of water violently attacking the front of my skis, I press firmly on my heels and carefully stand up. The water is furiously trying to pull me down, and blinds me for a second with its drenching spray. Finally, I gain complete control. Now I have the excitement of going where I want without any worries. I ride the wake for a while, then quickly point my skis left and shoot out; accelerating on the smooth water until I’m going 60-70 miles an hour, almost twice as fast as the motor boat is going. I stay there for a while, then decide to go to the other side of the wake. The water is perfect for this trick. I stay up for another minute, and then decide to let someone else try. I let go of the rope and gracefully raise my arms up as I slowly sink down in the water. It’s a perfect day for waterskiing.

The first time I tried waterskiing was a disaster. It was on Truman Lake in Missouri. Not only was I incapable of getting all the way up, but I kept falling flat on my face and bumping my nose on the wake (which is the flat, white, churned up water directly behind the boat). To describe it, it felt like falling flat onto a cement sidewalk. It was far worse than a bellyflop.

I was determined to keep at it, since some of my friends actually got up on their very first time. Floating peacefully on my back in my lifejacket, I waited for the boat to bring the rope around. I positioned myself again, and listened to the teacher in the boat yell, “Brace your legs! Don’t let the boat pull you over!” I was ready to go, so I yelled back, “O.K., hit it!” The motor roared.

Down I fell again, losing both my skis this time. Catching them was a challenge because as one floated off to the left, the other one decided to float the opposite direction. This was a typical situation I went through every day for a whole week. Yet I refused to give up. I knew that the experience would be more fun than anything I had ever done before.

On the last day of training, I told myself, “This is it. This is my last chance. Otherwise I’ll have to wait a whole year to try again.” With deep hope in my heart, I knew that this could finally be the day I could actually understand the joy my friends were experiencing. I jumped out of the boat into the cool, refreshing lake water and pulled on my skis, making sure they were not too loose. I grabbed the rope firmly in my hands and eagerly yelled, “Hit it!” That was it. I came up and stayed up.

The experience was thrilling. I was not just traveling straight across the water. By tilting my body, I could move around. I could even control the boat’s speed with a “thumbs-up” or “thumbs-down” signal. As I experimented, I suddenly beheld gigantic waves rolling right towards me. I screamed and started to panic, thinking that my thrilling experience was about to end with a crash. I couldn’t let that happen! I bent down, almost sitting on my skis to absorb the shock and help keep myself from falling over. Soon the waves were far behind me, and everyone on the boat was cheering and clapping. I screamed in delight. I had mastered the basics, and now had gained a new name: waterskiier. Big waves? No problem. It was a perfect day for waterskiing.

~APRIL

 

How Do You Spell Success?

In response to popular demand by my church youth group:

                 

You’ve probably seen the bumper sticker, “He who dies with the most toys wins.” In America today, materialism is rampant. As soon as we buy something because we deeply desire it, we soon start wanting more things just because we desire them. Why are we so dissatisfied? What is our goal? Surely it’s not to go into debt. How then can we be truly successful, if we are always discontent? Here is the answer: true success is having eternal life.

First, take a moment to ponder what will happen to you when you die. Will you take any of your achievements with you? How about that Nobel Peace Prize you earned that instantly made you world-famous? Therefore, the only goal that could possibly have lasting value is eternal life. Mark 8:36 says it pretty plainly: “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his life?”

What if you have a great desire to be a professional violin-player? That is a wonderful goal. You strive hard and relentlessly to practice for three hours every day. You improve rapidly, and finally enter a contest involving three different levels. You conquer the first two effortlessly, and now you eagerly await the final challenge. The opposition is harder, but you are confident of your ability. As you drive to this place of potential success, you begin to daydream of traveling overseas and playing for the most famous orchestras in the world. Suddenly, a truck comes out of nowhere and instantly kills you and destroys your beloved violin. Will God give you a second chance for success? The answer is “no.”

Therefore, when we Americans try desperately to be happy and successful through other temporal pursuits, it does not truly make us successful. Listen to what C. S. Lewis, the author of The Chronicles of Narnia, wrote about this strange, seemingly universal discontentment in many people, “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”

We should still work hard after temporal things, though. I am not saying to be lazy and abandon everything else in life. When we go after these other goals, we need to realize this very important point. We should seek these goals for God’s glory alone. Why not our own glory? Well, we were not made to be worshiped. God created within us a distinct desire to worship Him. Since we are born sinners and completely hate God with our whole heart, we try to worship other things, even ourselves.

The problem is, we were created to worship God alone, and anything less leaves us in a state of utter discontent. John 4:13-14 records the conversation between Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well: “Jesus said to her, ‘Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty forever. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.’” Unless we put our faith in Christ, we will always be “thirsty.” Or, as Saint Augustine puts it, “Our hearts are restless until they find their rest in Thee.”

True success is having everlasting life. How do we gain it? Christ has lovingly revealed this knowledge to us in John 5:24: “Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes Him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.” Notice the past tense. It’s saying that those who trust in Christ already have eternal life; not maybe later if we work diligently at it. Christ has already paid for our sin and has won the victory over death.

To sum it all up, true success is having eternal life in Christ. There are of course, many admirable goals we could pursue, but they are uncertain and volatile. They are really insignificant compared to the joy and satisfaction of knowing Christ, just as Paul the Apostle says in Philippians 3:8: “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.”

It may seem tough to give up that Nobel Peace Prize or that new red Porche, but sooner or later, we really won’t care about them anymore; not to mention that everything we have achieved will evaporate when we die! We should, therefore, live vigorously to bring God the glory, and strive to bring others to know about our great success of which we will never be discontent—a success that was accomplished for us by Christ.

~April

  

 

 

What is True Beauty?

      Usually when we think of beauty, we imagine smiling fashion models with fake eyelashes and gallons of makeup portrayed through advertising: TV ads, billboards, magazines, you name it. Its presence is always there. Teens like you and me are constantly bombarded with ads that give us the impression that beauty is what’s on the outside. Character is almost never the issue, and that is why advertising is extremely misleading. It could even be the cause of depression and heartbreak. Outward beauty soon vanishes, and then what is left? True beauty is not outward appearance, but good, inward character.

      About thirty-five years ago one of my relatives fell in love with someone he thought had “beautiful eyes.” Despite many warnings from his family and friends that she did not seem to respect him, he married her anyway, blinded because he thought her beautiful. All too soon, he realized his mistake. She was insecure and would not listen to him. She became an alcoholic behind his back; and that’s why she died four years ago–alcohol abuse. You may think that is a very sad story; but it’s not the end. About a year later, he met a bubbly Christian lady with whom he had many things in common. He soon married her. She was not as pretty as his first wife, but good looks were no longer what he ultimately cared about. He married her because he realized the value of a good character, and she has been a tremendous blessing for him.

     So what are these advertisements portraying to us? They say we should care about our body, our self-image—our outward appearance. Consider an ad for Shineaway 17 Lotion from the 1980s. (Shineaway 735) It shows a picture of a girl with her arms clasped above her head, exposing about six inches of her midriff. She wears red-and-white polka-dot shorts, and right behind her is a guy with a hand on his cheek; totally smitten with her. Her eyes are closed, and her posture seems to say, “Look at me. I’m beautiful and you wish you were.” The advertisement reads: “For skin that looks flawless even when it isn’t.” What is this ad putting into our heads? It implies that skin needs to look flawless, so we should buy their lotion. If we buy their lotion, guys will look at us and be smitten. Do you not see how misleading this advertisement is? We probably thought our skin was just fine the way it was, but as soon as that advertisement showed that picture, we started to worry and feel discontent; which is what the Shineaway Lotion 17 company wants us to do so it can make money off of us. Don’t get me wrong; there is nothing the matter with flawless skin. But is that really what we should fret about?

      Teenage girls want to be considered beautiful. It’s natural! But, who wants to hang around someone who is so concerned about her appearance that she becomes extremely self-centered? It is so easy to become obsessed with makeup, clothes, healthy food, etc., that character is thrown aside. This is why I think “blonde jokes” are around. Many girls are so concerned about looking pretty that they don’t have time to do any thinking or to develop any well-thought-out opinions. Before advertising was around, I don’t think blonde jokes ever existed because silly girls were not as common. Life was tough, and they had to get their work done. Look at Laura Ingalls Wilder. She cared mostly about being a good mother and wife, and about being helpful to her neighbors.

     The more girls strive after outward beauty, the more we become discontented. The styles and fads keep changing. We grow older and are forced to fight wrinkles, gray hairs, and flab.

     Now that we know what the wrong perspective of beauty is, let’s define a good character. A good character is putting others before yourself in every situation. It’s called having a servant’s heart. I don’t mean being like a slave. I mean forgetting about that catchy phrase, “It’s all about YOU.” I mean someone who cares about others even more than themselves, who loves others so much that they would die for them if need be; someone you can always count on for encouragement, help, and a warm smile. Picture Gladys Aylward. As a girl she prayed and prayed for God to give her pretty, blue eyes like her sister’s instead of the dark brown eyes she possessed. As an adult she was a small, plain woman; but she soon knew why God had given her dark brown eyes. She traveled to China to be a missionary, and because of her eye color and small figure she blended in with the Chinese community. For the rest of her life, she lived selflessly for the Chinese people. She was extremely active during the time of war between China and Japan, and carried out many acts of love that the Chinese were too afraid to do. Her most well-known act was leading one-hundred orphaned children many miles across mountains and rivers to reach a safe place away from the Japanese who were bombing villages. These brave deeds were not just heroic; they were selfless. She and her large, conspicuous group could have quickly been spotted by the Japanese and then instantly shot by soldiers or bombed by planes. In spite of these dangers, she cared enough about the needs of the Chinese people to completely ignore her own. Though she was not “beautiful” on the outside, she certainly had the character of a diamond.

      There are some people who would disagree with me about beauty: people involved with advertising, for example. According to Behrens and Rosen, authors of my Composition II class text book, “Advertisements are more than just an appeal to buy; they are windows into our psyches and our culture. They reveal our values; our (not-so-hidden) desires, our yearnings for a different lifestyle.” (655) Think about that word, “values.” Do we value good character as a community? Sadly, I do not think so. America has come to acquire the “everything revolves around me” attitude. Most decisions we make depend on what will benefit “me, myself, and I,” from making friends to electing a new President. So, why do advertisements encourage this kind of thinking? I believe that the companies are greedy, and will do anything to manipulate us into buying their product. They cannot sell good character; all they can offer us is something to make us appear more “beautiful” on the outside. This something could be cute clothes, cute shoes, flat irons, makeup, jewelry, manicures,…the list goes on and on forever it seems! The fashion industry must make billions off of us!

      To sum it up true beauty is far more than outward appearance; good character is the key. We teenage girls should not try to be noticed merely because we have a great body; we should be noticed because of our sincerity, willingness to listen, and selflessness. Advertising cannot sell us true beauty; it can merely offer us something that will make us more “beautiful” on the outside. This kind of beauty is fleeting. No matter who you are, you decay and get older. I challenge you to stop and think about this, and see if your character is something you would call “beautiful.” If you really make an effort in this area of your life, you will truly be beautiful even if you someday became a hunchbacked, wrinkled, old lady! Let’s show those advertisers and our community what’s wrong with that silly picture of the girl with “perfect skin.” Let’s show them true beauty that never ever gets old and boring with time.